Recap of April

April seems to have rushed past us. May is officially here, which means our flowers in the garden should be a blooming soon since we had plenty of April shower's recently! April was a busy month. I think mainly because the first 3 weeks I was traveling back and forth from Jeff City for the DOC training academy for work. It was a very busy 3 weeks sitting in a class room learning about the rehabilitation process. I ended up passing the academy with flying colors, ate at a handful of fantastic restaurants, became closer to some coworkers, and realized how much I hate being away from Steve for more then a day at a time. It's just not normal to be away from your favorite person in the entire world for 3 weeks. I think it should be illegal. Easter sprung upon us rather unexpectedly. We ended up taking a very last moment road trip to Chicago to celebrate my great-grandfather's 100th birthday. Most of my family came out for the event, so it was great seeing them. Almost all of them we haven't seen since before we were married. It was a much needed mini getaway. April was also the month of Steve and I being married for 6 months. 6 months can you believe it! It seems like just yesterday we were married, but a life time ago that we were standing on the beach with my beloved proposing to me. I sill catch myself staring at my wedding set, completely dumbfounded that I am actually married. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be happily married to my best friend for 6 months, I would have laughed in your face. A year ago I was arguing with God that Steve was the man He created just for me. Looking back I remember that I argued and argued. It was the end of April/beginning of May that I finally gave into God, and decided to trust my love life with Him. Let me just say, I love His love story that He created just for me, it's sooooo much better then I could have written for myself. The news of this week is that Jessica moved into her own apartment. She has been with us since the end of November. She moved 8 houses down into a cute little apartment. Today was our first day without her here, and it's oddly quiet. Even as I am sitting here, Steve is at work, and well it's just me and Cady. And if it wasn't for Cady's snoring, it would be dead quiet in this house. That seems like all of April's news...now here is to slowing down and enjoying May's flowers...

Hightlights of the Week

This week we hit the 5 month mark of being married. What's even crazier is that we just his the 10 month mark of officially being together. It's crazy seeing how fast time has flown by. It seems like just yesterday I was walking down the aisle, but really it seems like forever that I have been by Steve's side. I love being married to my best friend. This past Sunday we actually were able to go to church together. And as a result, we stepped out in faith and became members with the body of Christ at the First Baptist Church. We have been attending the church since December, and finally were able to join. It seems like we had only been talking about it forever. We were welcomed with open arms. I love how "small" feeling it is. Where the pastor knows your name and everything about you. We have met with him a few times, even have him on our facebook. Even as we walked down the aisle, the pastor said something along the line of "so I take it you are finally joining". This is the exact place that I have been looking for to settle down and raise a family in. We decided to not keep Nova, the husky. She was fun to have. We did a 2 week trial with her, but in the end, we knew it was for her best if she went back to my coworker. Cady played with her, but it's very obvious that Cady is the queen of this castle and is much happier and prances around more being an only dog. She cracks me up. I just love her to pieces and am very protective of her. This week I came home from work and she was outside in the rain, drenched and muddy. Oh I was livid. But like I said, she is my baby and I am very protective of her. Maybe a little too much... Yesterday I completed my last evening shift for 3 weeks. Monday morning me and 3 other nurses are heading to Jeff City for the Academy, aka DOC training. Free hotel rooms, gas and food reimbursement...yay mini vaca! Except that we will be sitting in a classroom 8 hours a day learning how to handcuff, pepper spray and write violations and of course take test...you know the every day things I as a nurse use...haha not. I am not sure why it's a requirement for nurses to attend the custody training, but you know whatever, it's a free vacation. The only thing that perturbs me about this is that I have been there for 4 years, and they are just now sending me and I am still a newly wed! I am dreading being away from Steve for 3 weeks. Oh well, se la vie! Anyways I think that is the highlights of the news of the week. Got to get the cleaning and laundry done so I can pack for my trip...until next time...

Dark Irish

I am kind of procrastinating from doing dishes and making tuna fish sandwiches. So what else, but to update my blog. There is not alot to say though. Except I am sitting on my couch with the windows up, watching the curtains move back and forth with the breeze as I listen to the dogs bark at the little puppy prancing across our neighbors yard. Only thing better would be to have the hubby home with me and not have to go to work (bu that will happen in 2 days!). I think there is a storm moving in though. It's only in the 60's today, odd since we have been in the low 80's the majority of the week. I heard on the news this week that we hit a record this week for reaching 80's that many days in March. I think it would be perfect to keep it this way the rest of the summer. Today is March 17th. The day that most of the country wears green to celebrate the Irish. I may hardly be the typical red head stubborn Irish, ok yes stubborn and yes red hair dye but I do have natural red highlights if that counts; but alas I am Dark Irish. I remember when I was young my brother would go around saying we were Greek. It made sense...olive tinted skin and dark hair. One day my mom overheard him, and got very offended. That is when we were told we were Dark Irish. Oops our bad! I have a tad bit addiction to Pinterest. Today on Pinterest I saw a story of a couple that wanted a real honeymoon, since they could only afford a 3 day get away to a local area when they were first married. So they decided every time they made love they put a dollar in a old metal box to save up for their 50th wedding anniversary/honeymoon trip. They even said that no matter how difficult times would get financially, that they never allowed themselves to get into that box. They were able to go on that trip; and every went as far as every wedding they attended, the wedding gift would always be a old metal box with some cash in it to start their savings for a trip. Talk about Romantic! Since Steve and I didn't get a "real" honeymoon, and we love to travel, I told Steve about it, and we decided going to start this as well. However the husband that he is, decided to go one step farther and tell me that any time one of us cusses, that we would have to take a dollar out of our savings. Talk about being mean. Cussing is something that I am working on kicking in the butt, working in the prison sure doesn't help it either! I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman, one that my husband would be proud to call his wife... So needless to say I am all for a challenge, especially of monetary value! Oh well my eggs are done boiling so I guess I can't prolong making tuna fish anymore...

Frustration Gallor

That is me right now. Plain old frustrated. I feel like I am going downhill really fast and ready to snap...for a variety of reasons.

We have been doing a trial period with a 4 month husky. She is gorgeous and loveable and the dogs play well together. But I have cleaned up more dog shit in the past week then I care to explain. This morning was twice in our bedroom with us in there. And no it's not diarrhea. She is also turning out to be a little con artist, trying to escapes every time she is outside. But that is the nature of a husky. I wish we had a big fenced in yard, heck a small fenced in yard would do. I think it would make it a lot easier then leads that get tangled every time they are on them. I just don't know.

I am tired of never seeing my husband. I thought I was suppose to see him more with me going to evenings. It makes me wonder if I made the wrong choice to switch. I have wanted to be back on evenings ever since I left Missouri. I managed 8 months on days. And the entire time I was holding my breath for an evening position. Now that I am on it again, I love it. I am much more sociable, love my coworkers and the shift differential will help. But there is consequences to every decision...I think mine is not spending quality time with Steve. With me getting home at 2330 and with the crazy hours he has been pulling it seems that I never see him but a couple hours in passing. It royally sucks. It sure doesn't help that in 2 weeks I am going to DOC training and will practically be gone for 3 weeks.

Yesterday I had a huge desire to rejoining the gym. Well more pay for my memberships that I haven't been able to pay. I caught a look of myself in the mirror yesterday and was disgusted with what I saw. At church all I wanted to do was start juicing and exercise. I use to be so good with exercising and eating right by calorie counting and cutting out crappy foods. I was addicted to mfp. I lost 50 lbs. It all went down hill when I decided to run away and move to Virginia. I lost my routine. Routine is huge for my success. I regret moving for that reason. I am sick and tired of feeling fat. Scratch that just straight up being fat. I don't feel attractive, I know I am not. I know it affects my marriage. I know I need to loose weight, that it would help me hopefully prepare to have kids one day. I am tired of my back hurting, I know exercise will help. I got a message from my biggest supporter on mfp today. The one person that daily encouraged me. Today I got a message saying she was removing me from her friends list since I haven't been active for awhile. It felt like everyone has given up on me in my support group. I was going to go talk to the ymca today. Now I don't feel like it. I just want to hibernate.

Ok that's enough negatives. Life is not bad, don't get me wrong. Maybe I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed... and my Monday is just how starting.

Adios alarm clock

Well I did it. I survived 6+ months on day shift. I use to say I would never go to day shift, the thought scared the living daylights out of me. But once I got a good routine down I must say I mastered running the segregation wings. I got to know some of the nurses quite well even though I spent 90% of my time alone in the hole. Sick call use to frighten me, but once I learned the protocols it was a piece of cake.

But ever since I came back to the prison, I have been waiting for an openings on evening shift. My bosses even told me to run off a nurse so I could go back LOL. Needless to say it's where I belong. With Andrea, Becky Roo, Sheila, Lisa and Melissa. The 3+ years I spent on evenings as a brand new nurse shaped me into the nurse I am today. Tomorrow I return to evening shift. I am tickled pink. I will still be in segregation, still have to do all the behind the scene paperwork, ordering meds and restocking... at least until they find someone to take my spot full time on days. But that's ok.

The best part of all is hopefully not seeing 0530 on my alarm for quite awhile. I am so not a morning person. Now here is to adjusting back to staying up to midnight...

Random Update

I officially kinda stink at updating my blog. It has been weeks. It seems like the new year has been rushing by. My last post was a month ago, and man how life has changed. A month ago I was stressed and frustrated and seemed that life was in a rut. Not the way I wanted the New Year to start off, but that's life right? The past month seems to be the roller coaster that we were living on is slowing down to a normality. Our house went back down to 3 with saying goodbye to Brittany as she moved on to the next part of her adventure in her life of healing. It was very strange at first to not have her around. She was with us for about 2 months give or take. I pray that we were a blessing to her and that she knows she will always have a special place in our life even with the distance that separates us. Jessica and Steve both got jobs that keep them hopping. The 3 of us have been working crazy hours with everyone going every which way. It seems odd to have all of us at home at the same time anymore. I am thankful for the jobs that God has provided them. They came in a much needed time. My husband is learning how to juggle 2 jobs and a married life. I say he is doing a pretty darn good job at it. These jobs are really good on his health, and he is doing something he loves...yep back in the mental health field. We filled taxes as a married couple, very odd by the way...we received all 3 of our refunds. Thanks to Missouri for the $12, it bought us a bag of dog food! We managed to get some bills paid, bought some stuff, and are patiently awaiting the news of the cost of repairs on the overheating of my Sebring. Hopefully it won't be too much so we can buy a new couch that we are in love with. Speaking of our house, we have been doing some diy projects and making it more cozy and homey. We got a bistro table at a thrift store. It makes me want to do the coffee theme in our kitchen. But I kinda also like the wine theme. Oh the choices...Let's just say I love making our home, well homey. I have experienced reconnection and fallen more in love with my husband then I thought was possible. We celebrated our first Valentine's Day together. We enjoyed a day of thrift/antique shopping with Jess, then headed to Columbia for some shopping, dinner at our favorite place, and a scary movie. It was nice to get out and enjoy time together. My husband spoiled me rotten, bought me some fun stuff, and I found that I really liked it. I found myself on Valentine's Day reflecting over the past year. A year ago exactly I said goodbye to Steve, well I couldn't actually say goodbye, but I left him and moved across country. Fast forward a year, we have been together as a couple for 9 months. Tomorrow we will be married for 4 months. Speaking of marriage, we should be getting our wedding pictures very very soon. But anyways I am at awe at how far God has brought us in the past year. God has blessed me with a man who cherishes and loves me unconditionally, even when I have the flu and am puking all over the living room. Thanks babe! The biggest news in my life at work is that on March 1st, I am going back to evening shift. Not a lot of people know about it yet. I have wanted to go back to evening shift ever since I moved to Virginia. But I came back and went to days. I have gotten a good routine down in segregation and enjoyed getting to know the day shift nurses. But I am ready to go back to evenings. One more week, and then I go back. I love the hours (3-11:30) and am hoping to get back into my old routine of the gym prior. I just need to learn how to not wake up at 5:30 am every day...

Blessed

I am sitting here this morning, just finished showering and eating breakfast and find myself with a few extra moments before I have to leave for work. I am sitting here enjoying the warmth of my house, the quietness of the morning and Pandora playing softly in the background. Our life seems like a rollar coaster of never ending stress. Most days I can handle it. Last night wasn't one of them. But this morning I was reminded by a precious note of the promise in Jeremiah that all of this stress is part of God's plan for my life. I was also reminded that I am loved. I am loved by God who wants to be a active part of my Life. Loved by a husband unconditionally who sticks by my side even when the stress seems overwhelming, who has helped clean the house when I am at work and goes along with my DIY projects. Loved by friends even when I am not the best of friends. I have a roof over my head that has become my home, heat in the Vents, food in the fridge, gas in the cars, and a job I enjoy. I am divinely blessed.