Se La Vie

I have wanted to start a blog for a while...a place to put my thoughts...who cares if someone else reads it...but recently I have had a lot of thoughts.

After graduating from high school I knew the one thing I wanted to do was be a missionary to Haiti. It seemed as if my life was leading that way. College came and went and I decided not to be just a missionary but to be a medical missionary. So I finally gave in and went to nursing school. God got me through every day. But I did it. Straight out of nursing school I became a correctional nurse. I had 2 degrees under my belt, a bachelors in religious studies with a major emphasis on missions and my LPN. I was going to bridge into an RN program...but ya know after spending lots of money on moving to the City, working on a alzheimer's and rehab unit I realized that city life wasn't for me...especially after the school was shut down by the MO State Board of Missions.

At this point I was in debt from Bible school, nursing school, and moving...and I just didn't know what to do. The only logical thing was to return to Moberly. I got my job back as a correctional nurse (in which I love my job)...there is something strange with working with 1800 male inmates. Most of the time it's the standard acute and chronically ill patients, psych meds, and men that are big babies when it comes to their health...but the other times its the emergencies. Seizures, fights, blood, heart attaches, shankings, and more fights. Cuts getting shoved up people's butts, ears getting bit off, rapes, and of course "falling" on the soap in the shower. Life is always exciting behing the bars...and I ironically love it.

So the other day I was driving back from KC and took the scenic route on 24 and enjoying the sight of fall. I began to think...what in the world am I doing? Was Gretchen right when she said that most people go to Bible college then tend to stick around MO and never get to the field? Really all I am doing is working ... and alot of my time I can see myself just growing old here...but is that what I really want. Yah not really. I want to go back on the mission field. And then I realized that I am still in the stinking prep work for doing so. I am working in a prison for a very decent pay so I can pay of that college debt. I can't go to the mission field till most if not all of that debt is paid off. So that is what I am doing, I am preparing for God's calling.