Thursday, December 30, 2010

Peace that surpasses all understanding

Peace. Do you have it? I recently heard someone say, "The peace that passes all understanding comes from entering God's presence and listening to the answers He gives". Have you ever been at such a peace that you know that you are in God's Will? It's been a long time for me, but over Christmas I was in Chicago with family, and I received the peace that is talked about in Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 2011 is bringing me much changing, and uprooting my life that I have known for the past 6 years in Moberly. Looking back in 2010, I realized one predominant factor, and that is that windows have been closing, leading me to the realization that doors are opening on the east coast for 2011. Something big and drastic like this, I needed to know that I am doing the Will of God. I don't want to rush forward in feelings and emotions, but want to have the peace of God, to be in the center of His Will for my life, and dear friends that is exactly where I am. Are you?!?

Friday, December 17, 2010

Attention East Coast....

Well big news has to be made sooner rather then later, some wont like it, and some might. Depends which end of the spectrum of the world you live in I guess. I have been on the down low recently, but now it's time to break the silence, and announce to all of you that I am finally going to be an east coaster again. In February I am moving to what my family has called home for the past several years, the DC beltway. At first it was a joke, and then family reasons, a prayer, and now a fast reality. I was originally planning on moving via a uhaul, but very recently I got an offer to use a military discount, by having my family pull a uhaul trailer behind there vehicle while they are in the Midwest for the holidays. So uhaul trailer is now reserved and I have until the day after Christmas to have my whole duplex packed and ready to load up. Well really until next Thursday, since that's when I go on vacation. So after the uhaul is loaded I will be camping out in my place, with everything my car holds including the big St Bernard, until d-day. Lots to be done in the next week, but it will happen sooner rather then later, so I better get busy...

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Pound for Pound Challenge

Today I decided to pledge to lose 50 pounds for the Pound for Pound Challenge. If you have ever seen the Biggest Looser, then you will know that they support this program. I am pledging to lose 50 pounds so they will donate 50 pounds of groceries to the poor. I figured if I am losing weight, then why not let someone donate that much food! To date I have lost 35 pounds, I want to lose a total of 50 by the beginning of February, and then I might as well go up to 85 lbs to meet my goal for the Pound for Pound Challenge. So by my birthday I want to lose 85 pounds.

Monday, December 6, 2010

goodbye 3's....hello 2's!

AHHH I am so excited! I have been waiting forever just to write the title of this blog. After Thanksgiving I gained a little over a pound, and this past week has been set in just trying to lose that. Today I got on the scale, and no it wasn't back to 303, instead it was 299.8! And yes I was shocked, and got back on the scale 3 different times to double check...That's my Christmas goal! I can't remember the last time that I was in the 2's. Sometime before I left for college I assume. Today I vow never to go back into them.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Hello December!

With Thanksgiving come and gone, Black Friday descended upon us and so welcoming the Christmas Season. It's amazing how a simple tree with lights can make you feel that Christmas magic. Steve and I rearranged the living room, trimmed the tree, and hung the stockings.

This week has been crazy. The water aerobics class I have has kicked it up a notch, and I really love the new challenge. On Thursday a transformer (or transmitter?) blew up causing all of the electricity to be nonexistent at work for over 8 hours. Of course it happened on my shift, and let's just say a prison gets a little dark without lights and a little eerie. But we were lucky that no incidents occurred. Thursday my dad was sent to the hospital for chest pain and admitted over night, ended up being a stress induces attack, so not cardiac related, which is fabulous news. Oh yes and my aunt had a miscarriage, she was very far along, and ended up having to be induced, deliver the baby bay. I now have a second cousin waiting for me in heaven. With all of this I am in the last week of my math class. I just back from Walmart where I bought graph paper for my project that I have been working on most evenings.

I have been praying about what to do next in life. I am entering some cross roads in life where I have some decisions to make on what's next. I have been praying, and I feel at peace with the decision I have made. After the New Year I will make concrete plans and then announce what they shall be.

November Success

So November has come and gone, and I look back to see what I have accomplished... I want to say it was a sucky second month, since I only lost 8 lbs. But since I have company, and went out of town for 5 days for Thanksgiving, I kinda went by the wayside for a week. But in that week I only gained 1.8 lbs, and I was okay with that since how often does friends come to town and holidays occur. But with that being said, I realized that I am so not done. I realized that as long as I am left alone, that I will go to the gym and eat right. But that’s not a real life. It’s amazing how the influence of friends and family can cause you to make bad food choices. This past month my friend also started going to the gym with me. On Monday I decided to measure myself to see what I have done so far, I know its 8 lbs in November, and 30 lbs total, making me oh so close to my Christmas goal. Only 3 lbs to go! I didn’t start measuring myself until November 1st, so in the past month I have lost 28.5 inches throughout the body. I think that is success in and of it self.

Sunday, November 21, 2010


The past week or so we have had more company stay in the house then in like forever. First Steve's company, and now mine. Roxie and her brothers are in town this weekend and let's just say it has been so good for me. It has reminded me what it's like to actually have friends, and how to have fun outside of work and not just the standard house cleaning and math homework. Cady is having a hay-day over the company, and all the attention she is getting. I think she is going to have withdraw symptoms when they leave. Oh my big puppy...

In which my math class get's over in 2 weeks. I have 2 more homework sections to do, a final project and a final to take. It's close to being over, and I am glad. This past year has revolved around math and I am ready for it to be over. I love having company. It reminds me that there is more to life then just what revolves around work. And yes, my life here in Missouri revolves around work and the gym. It makes me think of what's next in life, but that I wont write about until plans are more concrete and closer to the time of execution....

Yesterday hit 50 days of my new lifestyle. Yesterday was a crappy eating day with company and going out, but I am not beating myself up over it, instead I will hit the gym hard this week and keep going, that is why this is not a diet, but a lifestyle change. As of this past Monday I made it to 30 pounds total, only 3 more pounds to go before Christmas. I am sure with this weekend, and then this week being Thanksgiving, so I am sure I wont be the 33 until the beginning of December, but that's okay with me. As long as I don't gain!!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

6 weeks = a habit!

Well it's been 41 days from the start of my new healthy lifestyle. I don't call it a diet, because then I would be setting myself up for failure. Instead I have changed my life, they say it takes 6 weeks to make a habit. Well tomorrow is the beginning of my 6th week, so I think it's fair enough to say that I have made this a habit. My day consists of waking up, actually eating breakfast, heading off to the gym, where 3 days a week I do water aerobics with some cardio, and the other days cardio and weights. Then back home to eat lunch, cook dinner, then off to work.

What have I learned you may ask? I have learned that it's all about the difference of the calories intake and the calories output. I have learned that 8 cups of water isn't enough, instead you have to drink half your body weight in ounces. I have learned that I have to eat my allotted amount of calories, that you have to actually eat in order to loss weight the right way. I have learned that if I want dessert, then ok eat it, but in moderation and then try to eat it healthier. I have learned that even though I don't put extra salt on my foods, that I need to be very cautious with the amount of sodium in foods, soave greatly no processed foods, everything I eat now, I make, so that I don't have more water retention. I have learned that I can do it on my own, and my new friends on helps me to stay motivated, encouraged, and accountable. I have learned that I love water aerobics, I love the cardio wave, and I just started to make friends with the elliptical now that it doesn't bother my knee.

In 6 weeks I have lost 23.4 pounds, a few inches throughout the body, making me 9.6 pounds away from my mini-Christmas goal. It is so close I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. When I meet this goal, I am going to reward myself by purchasing a HRM so I can accurately count my calories that I burn. So now you know where I have been, and what I have been doing in the past 6 weeks.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

American Dream

Ok so I got the dog, the career, now I want a place to call my home. As I am out driving, I see oh so many houses and am like "I want a house". I want a house, a yard for Cady to run. I want to be able to paint the walls any color that I want to. I hate white walls. Oh how I long to put paint on a brush, and apply it to a white wall. It's in my blood. It's one of my greatest hobbies in life. My lease is up in February...

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Walking Trail

Today I woke up and was going to do my usual routine. Usually I eat a quick bite, then go straight to the gym. I find that if I turn the tv or computer on, then I don't go to the gym, or have to cut my workout short. So I have put myself in a routine that is nicely working out. Anyways I go to the gym, and the technogym equipment is broken (the 2nd time this week!), so I couldn't check in and see what my workout today is. So I decided to leave, and go take Cady on a walk. It's a beautiful fall day, so I went home and got her, and decided to go on the new walking trail. It was so beautiful that we kept going, and was gone for 2 hours on the dot. I can so feel it in my legs now. It's definitely different walking on a treadmill at the gym, compared to walking a dog on concrete. But it was suck a beautiful fall day with a breeze. As I rounded my way past the fields, over the train tracks, past Ice House, across CCCB's front yard, and around to Timberlake, I was pulled to the cross set on a hill. I sat on a bench and overlooked a little pond with a hill in the distance with a cross. What really got me was the pond, the body of water. Maybe because I was listening to Haitian Konpa Music, but I started to think of the cholera outbreak that is going on in Haiti. How precious water is to the body, but at the same time, how evil it can be. Water is a vital part of our living, and when people are desperately thirsty, they drink water, not think of the consequences. That is what's going on in Haiti. There is a cholera outbreak, and last I heard over 250 dead in St Marc, and over 1000 that shows the s/s of this epidemic.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


did you know that you are suppose to drink half your body weight in water? that would be 159 oz of water for me, making it 5 32 oz cups, or 20 8 oz Styrofoam cups of water. that just seems like so much!

Sunday, October 10, 2010


At the very last minute I got the joy of being able to watch Carigan yesterday and today. We have spent HOURS at the parks, watching tv/movies, eating and of course shopping. Poor girl is warn out by the end of the day. I am so glad that Kaytee is close enough that I can be part of her childhood. She is so my favorite 3 year old in the world. I am blown away by her talking skills, you can tell how much she has learned at preschool. Carebear is so growing up in a blink of an eye.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

3 down

Well I have been a tad bit busy, it seems like my days are filled up all of a sudden. In the morning I go to the gym for at least an hour if not more, then there is lunch, make dinner, work, then come home to wind down by watching some tv. And then of course I am getting addicted to the site. It's fabulously motivating and inspiring to keep going to the gym.

Week One of getting healthy...well when I weighed in on Monday I was 3 pounds lighter, which is good since I still drank diet soda, had 2 slices of pizza and french toast, and of course the fabulous red velvet cookies my aunt sent. But still I managed to go to the gym every day except Sunday and starting to eat healthy I manged to drop 3 lbs.

For week 2 I made a commitment not to eat any fast food, no soda (including diet!), go to the gym and to get enough courage to talk to Ryan about restarting the technogym wellness personalized workout. I was disappointed in my self about quitting this summer when I was only 1 week into it, and didn't want to face him. Well after 8 days of going to the y, I finally got the courage to go into his office today and we have a meeting tomorrow morning to retest my strengths and weakness and restart it. I can't keep beating myself up for quitting this summer, but forget the past and move forward. That is what I am doing, moving forward to a new and healthy me.

Oh and I have been to church the past 3 weeks in a row, and Kaytee and me are getting our friendship back on track, so life is less stressful now. It's amazing how not going to church and being in fellowship with other believers and having a strained relationship with your best friend can take a toll on one person. But that is in the past and I am moving forward.

Friday, October 1, 2010


Well I have hit the gym the past 4 days, and after a little stretching, quick warm up on the treadmill, I managed to burn 1000 calories every day in about 45 min on the Wave. I think I am going to talk to the personal trainer about restarting the Techno Gym Workout Program. I thought I was 330 lbs when I weighed at work, but at the gym on the first day I was 326.8 lbs. Every pound helps. Today I found this website: and created an account with the user name "ashbridge". It's basically facebook meet blogspot. How fabulous is that? I think it will help so much, and be an encouragement to keep me motivated and on track.

Monday, September 27, 2010


Did you know the one pound of fat equals to 3500 calories? 3500 can you believe it! I was doing some research today and came across this, and it said that if you have a 500 calorie deficiency from what you eat and your exercise burning then you should lose a pound a week. 3500, that seems like so much, no wonder people don't easily lose weight.

I broke down today and bought a gym membership. I probably should have waited 2 weeks till I have some extra money, but I am tired of making excuses. It will be a bit of a sacrifice this next 2 weeks since finances were already tight, but I will make it due.

Tomorrow starts working out day # 1.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

A Brick Wall

Today I went to church for the second time since returning from vacation. It makes me sad that I would rather choose my bed then worshiping with fellow believers. I think it is because I am not connected in a church, a church that feels like home. Well today I made a decision to get out of bed and go to church. I went, and I felt like I hit a brick wall. There is so many areas of my life that needs fixed...
My relationship with God, which I am working on. It is a day to day process, but isn't that with any relationship? But today changed, because I stepped foot in church, I had a heart to heart with God, and we are getting back on track. It feels like such a relief. It's like everything in life goes wrong when there is a problem with me and God, like there is a brick wall that I built between us. Well the fact is that I tore down the wall, and am now rebuilding my relationship with my Abba.
My finances. Ugh I work 40 hours a week, and I still don't have enough money. Money to pay the bills. Rent, credit card, water, electric, 2 student loans, current school payment, tv, internet. It all adds up. I put my application in for another job, but they haven't called back. But the reality is I have enough to pay the bills, just not much after that. I want to pay off my debt, but it takes all I have just to pay the current bills due. But at least I have a full time job and can pay my current bills.
My weight. I am ashamed of it. I am pissed at every one for letting me get to my weight, for the bad food choices, and letting me skip the gym. I have a problem, and that is I am morbidly obese. I need to loose weight, I need to eat healthier. I like to people watch and I see overweight people and think "well at least I am not as big as them". It's like I am not looking in the mirror. Hello I am, I am just choosing to think otherwise. To think that I am not that bad. I think, maybe I could apply for the biggest loser, but they aren't casting right now. Well I need to do something about it, not wait. Well since it is 3 months to Christmas, I am going to start doing about it.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

90 days!

Well it's officially fall, and oh has the weather turned. It is currently 54 degrees outside, with the high of the day of being 69! I pulled out my hoodie today and love wearing it. A fellow alumni, Corey Pinkerton, is a contestant on the Biggest Loser this season, and the show just had it's season premier this past week. Of course it got me thinking again. I got way off of track with my weight loss when I started summer classes, finances got tough and life at home got a tad bit stressful. Enough about excuses. As I was watching the Biggest Loser on Tuesday it got me thinking, if a guy that I know can get on the show then why not me? Why don't I send in an application for it? Well if I did it wouldn't be until next year, so that wont help the immediate problem. Why wait? I think that will be another excuse. Then it hit me today. Christmas is in 90 days. 3 months exactly. Can you believe it? Loosing weight can be costly. The cost of a gym membership, healthy food, time. But those are just excuses. So 3 months, 90 days, and a goal of 30 pounds. even if I can't afford a gym membership right now, I can at least take Cady for walks. Due able? I think so, scratch that I know so.

Friday, September 24, 2010


At the bright and early hour at 8:15 am (yes that's early since I don't get home till almost midnight and bed last night till 2:30 am!) I received a phone call from an investigator at the prison saying I was being summed into court asap. Like 5 minutes ago asap! She said if I don't get there to testify that the case will be thrown out. I ask her what it was in regard to, many different incidents at work are rushing through my mind in the past 2 years, and she says it was about an inmate that was in a fight in September of 2009. Umm I don't remember the beginning of this September let alone last September, and all I can remember is September of 09' was when I had gotten Cady. That's all I remember. So I rush around couldn't decide what I needed to wear, so I put scrubs on, and drove to Huntsville, walked in, met the investigator, there is the inmate that I am well aware of since I give him Paxil 10 mg every day at 1600 and as soon as I get there they call me onto the stand, ask my name, and then they are like "umm judge we called the wrong nurse in!" So needless to stay, I went back home and went to bed.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

To Buy or Not to Buy

Lately I have been watching way too much HGTV. Shows such as buying houses, selling houses, income properties, design to sell, I can go on and on. I love it! I love seeing rooms refurnished and updated. It has got me thinking recently of buying a house. I went to Sutherland's yesterday and got lumber to make slates for the new bed in the guest bedroom, and literally spent an hour going up and down every aisle looking at nails, screws, paint, knobs, lights, toilets, sinks, wood, etc. I love the smell of a hardware store. So much possibilities. Let's face it I have been in Moberly 6 years now. I love my job. I am hesitant to say this, but I can see myself here for many years. I grew up in the military, we moved every 2 years, like clock-work, so for me to even want a house and settle down that is just umm different. It's like the American dream. I want a house with a garden, a lavatory, a porch swing, a yard big enough for Cady (and maybe a future playmate) to run free and enjoy barking at the birds. I want to be a little in the country, not like right down town. Oh my I think Missouri has changed this city girl. I really think renting wastes a lot of money. I pay $625 a month, for a house that I have tried to make homey, and at the end of the year what do I have to show for it? Absolutely nothing, zilch, nada. Even if I dont end up buying, I think we are going to look for a cheaper place to rent ($625 is high for Moberly) and I really need a bigger yard for my puppy. We shall see.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

umm what day is it?

Ever wake up and have no clue what day it was? Cady started having this serious bark that someone was at the house the jolted me awake, and thus jumped out of bed. It was the mail lady. The same one that comes every day at the same time...I got the mail to see that our water bill went down $30 and just yesterday got the electric bill saying it went down $100! It's crazy that much changed with just Kaytee and Carigan moving out. I am excited to see next month what it will be with Laurie gone, and the a/c off. As I was checking the mail though I noticed the neighborhood girls outside, and couldn't help but think "why aren't they in school?". I guess I forgot today is Saturday...

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

A needed day off

Ever need one of those days where you just don't do anything? Yah that's me today. But probably because every day off has been filled with moving people, grocery shopping, and what not. Today I am not planning to leave the house once. HAHA yah right, I don't know if it will work or not. But it's nice to know that I have nothing that needs to be done today.

Lately I have been thinking of getting a second job. Finances are quite tight, and I am tired of it. It seems like all the money is going towards bills with very little left over. No matter how much I said that I hate to move, I think it definitely needs to be something of consideration once February comes. I think we could downsize to a 2 bedroom house with a yard for Cady less then the $625 we are spending now for the 3 bedroom duplex. The idea of moving is so not appeasing right now, but maybe it a few months, and if we can find a good place with a good deal. Hmm who knows!

A coworker just told me that she got turned down her acceptance letter for the RN program, so that is down 2 that I know of. I am number 4 on the waiting list, so at least number 2 now. Maybe it still is a possibility. A lot can happen in 3 1/2 months... Speaking of nursing there was a patient of ours that was getting IV medication due to a very rare disease, and it causes petechiae. Anyways his vein collapsed and he needed a new IV site placed, and none of the nurses could get a successful stick, so they called me. I just laughed at them, like 'and you called me, why?' type of thing. Anyways much to everyone's shock I got a darn good stick on the first attempt! That is always a little booster to one's week.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Just Us

Well I doubt that anyone reads this, but figure I might as well update by saying that Laurie moved out yesterday. It took us from 9am to 7pm to move everything but she is finally settling into her own place. So now it's just Steve and me and of course my big puppy in our house. Steve and I are such an odd pair, we sometimes come off as an old married couple. I think we are going to make the third bedroom into an office/guest bedroom. So anyone wanna visit? I am happy with how the house is coming together. It's mostly all the way done, just some odd's and end's we are keeping out eye open for. Today I am conquering the kitchen and reorganizing it. I love how life seems less drama free and stressful.

Monday, August 23, 2010


Well vacation is officially over. Today is the last day, and I head to the airport in less then 2 hours. Back to the daily grind of work. I just started my math last class, I debated back and forth about taking it since I didn't get into the RN program, but I am 4th on the waiting list, so I decided to go ahead and take it. It is online, and it wont be a strenuous as the summer class since it's 16 weeks and not 8 weeks. Going home will be interesting, Kaytee and Carigan is officially moved out, Laurie will bring me my car to the airport and then she is staying in Kansas City until she moves, so basically I am returning to just Steve and me. I am so ready to get the house back in order and liveable for the 2 of us. I have spent a lot of time looking on craigslist for another couch, but nothing has grabbed my attention yet. I have had some fabulous family time, met and fell in love with my neice Lilly,met God at the beach, got healed from some pain caused by this whole situation, decided to let it go, to forgive and forget and move on. No sense harboring unforgiveness, anger and bitterness towards a friend. Vacation is now over, and it is off to the real world...

Saturday, August 14, 2010

the beach day one

Today is day 4 of vacation, and day 1 of the beach. I get to spend a whole week at the beach, today was bitter sweet. I found out yesterday I didn't get into the RN program, life back at home is a big mess and still seems to be spiraling out of control, and to make matters worse my car is having issues on Steve. It seems life if it isn't one thing, then it's something else. Today I was reunited with the beach. The last time I came to one I was engaged, in college, and had the rest of my life to look forward to. Now I come after being broken down, loosing a best friend, and desperately needing a vacation. It was oh so nice being reunited with the east coast shore. It's like a piece of home, that no matter how often I move or my family did growing up, the ocean will always be there, always was my escape from the rough teenage years. And now I am returning this week, spending time with family, actually taking a vacation for once in a blue moon, and desperately seeking answers on what to do now in life. I hope God will meet me here, mend my broken life, and give me answers on what's next.

Monday, August 9, 2010


life is spiraling out of control and i don't like it. thank God i am going on vacation in 3 days. i need time away to reflect on all the changes that have happened that i don't have any control over. i don't like changes. too many people get hurt when changes arise. oh well 3 days then vacation.

Sunday, August 1, 2010


I think I am depressed. Not the kind of being suicidal, just lonely. I am tired of never having a guy look my way. I have been on 2 dates my entire life in America, how depressing is that. Just 2! The one just wanted sex, and this last one, I thought was going to go somewhere then the asshole never even emails me or calls me back. That is why I am depressed. How much does one need to put yourself out there in order to say "hey I want a man". I am not looking at getting hitched tomorrow, just someone there for me, someone to love and share one's life with. Is that all too much to ask for? I fully believe that we are relational creatures. That it is not good for man to be alone, hello it does say that in the Bible after all. I want to spend my life with my best friend, problem is I don't have one. I want someone to talk to, someone that wants to spend time with me, to text me just to say hi, to share one's life with one another. Is that too much to ask for? It bothers me that people at work say I am a bitch, and when they see me outside of work (thanks to Kaytee's social life) they say that people don't understand me. What the hell is there to understand? I don't take shit from inmates, but I will do my best to give them the health care that they deserve. I think I am nice to the officers. Sure I have been stressed out and unhappy, but I am still a bitch. I think I need to go back to church and that might be a major part of my problem. AGHHH okay that is enough ranting and raving for right now. Just had to get it off my chest.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

man of God

Is it possible for a person to come into you life and change you just in one encounter? I have been thinking that for a while now. I met one person, who makes me want to be better in life. One meal is all it took. An encouragement to return to church, to even recommend one. Me being the internet junky that I am googled the church and found this on their website: "A missionary is God's child in God's place doing God's work in God's way in God's power for God's glory." This may not mean anything to you, but it does to me. Because in a tiny village in the northwest mountains of Haiti, there is a missionary that has this saying edged into the wall. I found it on accident one day and it has stuck with me ever since. I believe I even have it written in my Bible and probably as a fb quote. I haven't thought about it in many of years, and then to come across it like this has hit me square in the face. To reevaluate where I am in life. Which brought me to the person I met all over again. The character he portrayed to me, was one of a godly man, a kind of man that I was as a spiritual head in my future family. It got me thinking about how the Word says "it's not good for man to be alone". I never have sat down before to think what I want in a man, but I want a man that will stand up and share his beliefs (religion and politics) on a first date, a man that asks to pray for the dinner, that speaks highly of his church. Anyways all I got to say is that I can't wait for that man of God to be revealed to me one day.

Thursday, July 22, 2010


Life has sure been busy. 2 weeks ago Lauren and Kevin's wedding, this past week up to Chicago to move my mom. Came home to a nice quiet house, or maybe not. I came home to my dog having a hair cut. It was awful, I was livid. Thankfully I am not posting this a few days ago or you would sure have an ear full...

So I have been talking to a guy. And we went on a lunch date today. It was fabulous. Hopefully more will come, but the ball is in his court so we shall see.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy Independence Day

The 4th of July stands out as one of my favorite memories of Haiti...yes odd I know. Every summer I was there all the American missionaries would gather together and go to Mole, a day at the beach with an American BBQ. It was as an American as you can get for being out of country. But surrounded by so many white people, celebrating your country's freedom, it's powerful. I wish I could turn back the clock, be debt free, and be in Haiti celebrating. Life in Haiti was carefree, peaceful, simple, I miss it.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

July is here

Well we are officially halfway through 2010. It always amazes me how much life has changed in the past year, let alone the past 6 months. With July here life is getting more interesting. Kaytee is dating a Franke which speaks volumes, and Steve is dating a guy as well. I was thinking the other day, when is it my turn. It seems from my perspective that Kaytee and Steve have had people lined up talking to them, dates, and here I am. I have been here for 5 full years, in a month I will start year 6, and not a single date. Ok well take that back I was engaged part of it, and there was that take that out of the equation and not a single date from an American Citizen haha. It's quite frustrating when everyone around has a significant other and I come home alone. Sure I may live with 4 other people, but that doesn't mean much except there is usually always people around. When will it be my turn? When will a guy see past my body and see who I usually am? Do I really come across as a bitch at work?

Right now all I do is go to work, stay up late doing math homework, sleep, wake up for more math, then back to work. It is a never ending cycle. But now that July is here I am halfway done with this math class! As soon as this math class is over it is back to the gym. Lauren and Kevin's wedding is next week. The week after I am taking Steve to Chicago and we are moving mom to a new place and doing some site seeing. Then when August comes around it is a 11 day vacation home which is so needed!

Friday, June 25, 2010

midwest beach!

i am trying to get onto my math website, but it isn't working, so i will tell you about my day. i had a rough start. after going to bed at 2, had to get up at 5:45 to go get steve from work, came home attempted to sleep again but it was difficult. next thing i know someone is touching me, so i go off swinging and basically assaulted kaytee...all because she wanted to go to the beach. i am not a happy camper when woken up fyi. so then steve comes in and starts going through the closet, so i yell for him to go to sleep! then my phone rings and my boss wants me to work July 4th. all of this and not even 7:30am! after a free breakfast at mc donalds, we were on our way. steve, kaytee and i went to the midwest beach, which was bascially just the lake with a little bit of wet sand. we spent 2 hours of fabulous r and r with water, sun and sand. i loved it. i am such a beach person already, but this little 2 hours away from society was perfect. my face is now sunkissed, and i am more relaxed and we are so going back.

Saturday, June 12, 2010


it's raining again, scratch that it is pouring with thunder, lightening, wind, and hail! God it sure putting a storm on for us. day's like this i wish i could stay at home, curled up on the couch and read a book, but no the prison is a calling my name. today my computer cord broke, a trip to three stores and $69 later i found one. i got home and was working on my computer since it crashed and was able to restore it all after much work, and then i started to smell smoke. Lauri was trying to warm up some banana bread, and ended up catching it on fire. i can still smell the smoke, it's appalling. anyways off to bed.s

Friday, June 11, 2010


well as i sit here i am glancing at my shoulders as it starts from peeling from the sunburn a couple of weeks ago. summer has officially arrived. lots of playing outside with Carigan and so far 2 carnivals have been attended. as with summer, i started an online math class that has kept me incredibly busy. it seems like all i do is go to work, come home work on math, sleep, wake up and do more math, over and over and over! oh well se la vie.

Friday, June 4, 2010


oh me oh my, how i am stressed with finances. it always seems to be one thing after another, and of course today it was a flat tire. luckily i was able to put air into it, and 3 hours later it hasn't flattened yet, so i will definitely keep an eye on it. but the finances are stressed to a max. i think i need a vacation, but of course cant afford one. oh well such is life. i really wish i could be in Haiti, where life is simple at a slow piece with no care in the financial world except for daily needs. life here in America is too expensive with credit cards, car payments, student loans, rent, food, etc the list could go on and on. but oh how i wish i was overseas serving God, not concerned at all about finances, but more about their needs. it seems with the way money comes in and goes out so fast that i will never be able to save up and go. but at least i am paying off the debt. se la vie.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


well its been 2 weeks, and i only lost 0.2 lbs this past week. sure with my birthday and the business of people moving in, i should be happy that i kept off the 1.2 lbs from the week before. but in 2 weeks only 1.4 lbs, come on thats just disappointing to me. especially since it seems like i am the one pushing for Steve and Kaytee to go, and they of course loose a few pounds a week. all i want to say is FML! but i wont...because today i started the Technogym wellness program. today was day one of my personalized program that the personal trainer set up for me. and although i was only on the treadmill, let me tell you that the treadmill can kick your butt with that massive incline button. 636 calories on a treadmill is rediculous in 1 hour! so we shall see now if this 12 week program will help me or not.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

ticked off

i am all sorts of ticked off. well i guess more frustrated...

frustrated that we started working out last week, that i spent a good 10 hours in the gym last week to only loose 1.2 lbs.

frustrated that i cant run more then a minute at a time without feeling like i am going to pass out.

frustrated that even though i have lost 10.2 lbs since February when i bought the bridesmaid dress that it wont zip all the way.

frustrated that the the bride wont follow through on her commitment to pay for the alterations, but that i have to, the day before the freaking appointment. when i am living on on like $60 till i get paid on Monday night.

frustrated that my microbiology grade isn't posted yet, to see if i passed the class, and hopefully i did so i can be reimbursed for all 3 classes through work.

frustrated that i have debt, even though 90% of my paycheck goes to paying it off, and i just wanna be overseas but can't.

frustrated that we can't talk like we use to.

frustrated that i just get told tonight that my mom is going on a trip tomorrow to MISSOURI where i have residency for 5 years, but didn't remember to tell me, cuz i guess since i ain't blood that i don't get invited to grandparents 50th wedding anniversary parties and that she is leaving to go back to virgina a day before my birthday and won't see me.


Saturday, May 15, 2010

a year lookback

well my Roxie Renee done graduated from college. i am so proud of her. last night we went out to celebrate, and her car's sounds alarm went off making it go into high alert and locking the battery. then this morning she woke me up and came to say bye. it is a sad day...she got my tears a flowing which is quite remarkable considering i never cry.

last night i went to CCCB's graduation. i was sitting there thinking that wow it has been a year since i graduated. and to think that a year ago my dad and sister was here, that i moved to st louis, got myself into debt, went to washington on a fabulous family vacation, got my job back at the prison, moved in with Caitlin, got Cady, James and Briana got married, then in March got a house with Kaytee, Lilly was born. all in a years timing...that is sure exhausting!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

working out

well this is the week that i got back on track. now that classes are over (well will be when i finish the 3 finals) i have started back at the gym. only this time it's different. now i have Steve, Julia and Kaytee as workout buddy's. we all go and force each other to keep going. i weighed myself at the beginning of the week and was pleasantly surprised to see that i keep off the 10 pounds since joining the y in February. i sure haven't worked out in March or April, really since we moved into the new place, but at least i kept off those 10 pounds. i have increased my calories burned every day 500, 800, and today 1450. yes 1450, that is certainly more then i ate today, which i believe is the purpose of burning calories. anyways needless to say we don't go just for a puny workout, but for 3 hours of hard ass-kicking exercise. i have been doing an hour of cardio, an hour of weights and stretching, and an hour of cardio. it's definitely a start. my first goal is 24 pounds.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

mothers day

Mother's Day is awkward for me and my siblings. What do you say to a women who abandoned your family yet wants to have a relationship with you? Of course I can't just hop a plain and fly to Virgina to be with Darla, my stepmom whom was more of a mom then my biological mom. So instead for the first time in my life I drove to Illinois with my travel companion, Cady, to be with her for mother's was awkward. How do you say "happy mother's day, thanks for leaving us" I don't have any hard feelings against her, I even love her in my own way, but awkward it still was. Oh well I did my deed, I got her a present, had lunch, and came home today.

My travel companion does great in the car, and behaved her self very well until last night when she decided she had to sleep with me on the couch. With me I mean, me laying on the couch with her jumping on top of me to lay on top me the ENTIRE night. It was a grand night, let me tell you. needless to say it is nice to be home.

tomorrow is my last day of class, strange i know for being a monday, then 3 finals. i am so ready to have my sleep in back!

Friday, May 7, 2010

yay it's friday! work has been crazy busy this week, mainly because of a liver failure guy who's ammonia level shot up, but him in a comatose state, and the stupid politics of working for a state penitentiary has caused him to be in our infirmary instead of an icu. but oh well, we dealt with him being restrained, and he is getting better to the point of talking and walking. not out of the woods yet, but completely different then monday where he was comatose with an ng tube.

anyhow finals are the end of next week. only one more day of class on monday - means we are very close to the 18 hour 3 times a week very soon! i value my sleep, but with these classes i never seemed to have got it.

i am debating about taking a trip with Cady to illinois this weekend for mother's day. kaytee and carigan are in warrensburg, so i doubt much will be going on, but just the thought of driving 3 1/2 hours one way doesnt appease me like it use to. i guess i will see what tonight at work and tomorrow morning brings before i commit to going.

the good news is that Cady is over her giardia and eye infection!

Saturday, May 1, 2010


well tomorrow is May, with that said let me just say i hate the last day of the month and first day of a month. getting all of the MARs ready for 1800 men is stressful. with that said it's May, and i have 2 weeks left of classes. and then i get to sleep in and not have this stinking 18+ hour days 3 times a week. also Roxie graduates this month, and i am not ready to see her leave. but at the same time i am turning 23 this month.

Lala left this week, and it looks like she is gonna move up here and be our live in nanny. she is suppose to move in the weekend before my birthday. i think she will move, but at the same time i am not ready to rearrange the house until i know for 100% that she is coming.

tomorrow with being a new month, i am going to push the weight loss again. i have continually lost since moving, but i havent worked out as much as i should, mainly because of classes and what not. so tomorrow its back on it.

anyways i am off to bed...i think its funny that i even write on here, cuz i am sure no one reads it. oh well.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

5 day weekend

i guess it is a good thing to answer your phone. usually i don't if i don't know the number. my boss called offering me paid time off for the rest of the week, making it a 5 day weekend...umm yes please. now what will i do with 5 days off? not quite sure but it will be worth it i am sure. hopefully lots of rest and good sunny days.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

new look

finally 2 weeks is over. 2 weeks of being solely in the med room. it flew by, with no problems what so ever. add do that 2 weeks the fact Kaytee was in the hospital. let's just say its been quite busy. so yesterday i decided i needed a change. there was hair dye on sale at Walgreen's. so i colored my hair then the next day got it chopped off. i went into the salon and told the lady "i need a change. give me a new look." i explained to her that every time in the past i would tell the people this and all they would do it trim it. so she took my request and oh my gosh changed it. she straightened it (which is no big deal cuz i periodically straighten it myself). i kinda like it, but i really need to see it tomorrow we will see. but for now take a look...

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Life on Hold

Since Easter Kaytee's Aunt Lori has been with us, helping with Carigan as Kaytee has transitioned from day shift training to evening shift training. Tiny Treasure Daycare is only open till 6, which doesn't help since evening shift doesn't finished work till 11:30. It seems that Kaytee has enjoyed life as a correctional nurse so far and really has clicked with my coworkers well. During her training she managed to have an ear infection, then an ongoing fever, cough, and finally on Tuesday the doctor diagnosed her with right lobe pneumonia and admitted her in the hospital (which is where I am typing this now as I watch her sleep). She is having breathing problems, and reactions to the med neb treatments at this time. Thankfully Aunt Lori is sill in town (although I think she leaves this weekend, but that might change depending on how Kaytee is doing) and is more then helping with Carigan and keeping the fort down.

It seems like many people I know is in MRMC right now, so while Kaytee sleeps, I make my rounds down the hall to check on them. 2 friends had babies this week. A very close friend, Eric, who use to live with me when I was at Julia and Derricks is in for pneumonia, but his is much worse, and he is on a ventilator in the ICU. It's extremely sad watching him and his parents fight over their 30 year old son. Please keep Eric and Kaytee in your prayers.

Today I had to play the role of Kaytee to Carigan as I took her to her WIC appointment. Thank God Carigan looks more like me then Kaytee, and people don't even bat an eyelash when they see us together. When Carigan was only 6 months old Kaytee and I were car shopping and the salesman proceeded to tell me that I had a very good nanny for Carigan (meaning Kaytee)!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

flu outbreak

there is a crazy flu outbreak at the prison that has kept everyone busy. infirmary is full, we have sent people out to other camps as sleepers due to the lack of beds, flu patient are hourly getting locked up in segregation. very busy for some already stressed nurses. i have been lucky to stay away from it since i have been in the med room for the past week and have this week as well. this flu has hit our household as well, by Kaytee getting it...good news at work though is that summer yard has opened meaning the med room pass is a lot better.

Friday, April 2, 2010

A month of change

The past month has been busy with much change. It is hard to believe we have been in this house for a month now. Finally last week we got the last of decorations, bar stools installed, and dvd player working. Carigan turned 3 two weeks ago, and we had a grand circus themed party. Today I picked up Kaytee's Aunt, Lori, up and will be staying with us for 2 weeks. Today also marks the last day shift orientation for Kaytee, next week she will switch to evenings orientation, which will be nice to be kinda on the same schedule. We are still waiting for her full time status to come around. The poor dogs have finally gotten use to being put on a leash outside. That is the one bad thing about this place is the lack of fenced in yard. Oh well.

The biggest excitement in the family was that James and Briana had their baby girl, Lillian Noel Harris on March 18th. Weighed in at 7 lbs 11 oz. She has a rough first day with breathing problems, but is just fine and dandy now. James graduated from his training program yesterday, so he is now a federal officer!

Monday, March 15, 2010

new hires

Life at work can be stressful when there is short staffing. On evening shift we have a very tight shift, and most of the orientee people never make it off of day shift to come to ours. CMS just hired 4 new people, but the reality is that not all of them will make it. It is quite sad especially when we need help! I usually don't like new people and having to train them, because they act like they know everything, and are better then you (especially when I train RN's). Needless to say they don't realize that working at the prison an RN and LPN does the exact same job, and it is more about experience with this line of work. With the 4 new people, Kaytee is one of them, so I am finding myself reflecting on why I don't like new people, and finding myself more wanting to help them understand our protocols and why we do things the way we do. It is quite interesting. Yesterday I got called in on my day off, simply because our one of two PRN people called in sick and the other was working. I can now say I can't wait for these people to get off orientation so that I don't get called in on my weekend off!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

2 weeks worth of changes

Wow what a busy 2 weeks. In a matter of 2 weeks, Kaytee got a job, we looked at houses, found one, signed a lease, got internet (after 3 days of trying with a technician) transferred the direct TV, moved, and Cady got groomed - as well as classes and work. Today is move in day for Kaytee and Carigan. Yesterday, thanks to Roxie, I got everything unpacked and put away so now we are ready for more boxes of stuff. Just for the record I hate moving. So much has changed in the past 2 weeks it is just simply exhausting. I have been battling with the old housie regarding carpet cleaning and what not, I am tired of being taken advantage of, and what not. But I am not going to stoop to that level of slandering her as is being done to me. I was at walmart for the 3rd time in a row on Wednesday and got really frustrated to the point of yelling at my mom cuz she wouldn't tell me what brand of a wireless router to get. It was then that I realized that I needed sleep, or maybe a vacation would do. It doesn't help that I have woken up at 7am everyday for the past 2 weeks...I think I need to just hang up a dark curtain and sleep the day away...oh wait there isn't time for that since Kaytee is moving in today and then there is always that thing called work. Anyways time to stop rambling and get on to the more important things of the day.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

new beginning

well it's official. i am moving. Kaytee got the job at CMS and we got a 3 bedroom duplex together (the one on the left side of the picture). we put the deposit down. they are finishing up some touch up paint and we can move in March 1st...only a mere 3 days away. i have no ill thoughts against Caitlin, she is a great friend, and i think this will make our friendship better without living together. as for Kaytee, Carigan and me, this is the beginning of our merging together for our future ministry to Haiti and beginning to build our team together.


the past few days have been a blur with many possibilities. my bestie was hired on at the prison pending a good pee test and background check. but come on she is a new nurse, there is no way she could have sat for her boards if she wasn't clean. this would require her moving here, especially since the cost of traveling 2 hours. i think this is critical not only for her to get her nursing experience, but it's good experience for Haiti. you work with manipulative men day in and day out and we all know how Haitians can be when they are hungry and sick. the prison isn't bad, you just get use to altercations, broken jaws and other bones, penis problems, and of yes the rude way men talk to women. but it comes with a ton of rewards. the past two days we have looked into houses and day cares. i just love house looking. it's like a new beginning in a lot of ways. but it is oh so difficult to find a place for a dog. another good thing is i feel this is a step in the right direction towards Haiti. we have always said we needed to be closer together so that we can prepare for our ministry in Haiti. so right now we are waiting with anticipation of new possibilities. i will expand more once i know more.

Monday, February 22, 2010


i can officially say "i hate ice!" i love snow. i am from Alaska after all. but i hate ice. people say that is an oxymoron since i am from Alaska...but hello there is more snow then ice up there people. i don't know what it is with winter, but my ally behind the house hates ice and snow and everything in between. maybe it is because you have to back out of the driveway onto a gravel hill and go up it that makes in intolerable with my car. i so wished i had a 4 wheel drive vehicle. anyways so last night we had a wintry mix storm like thing come through town. as i drove home from work, i pulled into the ally and slid down the hill, past my driveway and was able to stop by the end of the road. i was able to get turned around but it was impossible to get back up the hill. so today i woke up, attempted to leave for class, car wouldn't move, called the free insurance roadside assistance and it took them 7+ hours to get there due to tons of accidents. in the process my good friend Steve came over to help try and get me out. he couldn't but he ended up getting his car stuck. however the good news with my car being in the ditch is that Cady got a good play in with the puppy next door. needless to say i am parking on the street until the ice melts.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


Bienvenue, mwen kay se ou kay. So pa vre. Mwen pa bienvenue se mwen kay. Mwen tre tres pou sa. Mwen pa vle pale avec zanmi mwen paske mwen pa vle bienvenue lakay mwen. Pouki sa? Mwen pa konnen. Men le pa pale avec mwen men le pa bon. Le pa konpran mwen e coeur mwen. Mwen vle di "mezanmi!!!" Mwen vle ale ayiti paske mwen bienvenue la. Eske ou konpran? Mwen panse sa. Mesi.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

10 down

i am so not about to post every week when i weigh in and check to see if i lost. but since this is my blog and i can write whatever i feel like, i am happy to say my first mini milestone is down...10 pounds. i know it is not much, but for dropping soda, watching what i eat, and yes the famous ymca workouts, i feel like it is an accomplishment to keep me going.

onto other news i am turning in my RN school application tomorrow after i get some things notarized and background checks sent off to the state.

Saturday, February 13, 2010


found out today i got a 20 on the ACT which is what i needed. so now i can apply for the accelerated program (LPN-to-RN bridge program).

went to the y today and got my butt kicked by Julia.

hung out with my Roxie Renee.

reconnecting with a childhood friend thanks to facebook.

that has been my day. and i am exhausted.

Friday, February 12, 2010

modern technology

sandy this is just from my heart to yours. i know a true african would understand...i wish life were simple. as i have started going to they gym again i have wished for my mp3 player. well after much time i have found it, the charger and bought new headphones. well then of course i needed new music. i found a free legal sight to download music, and then 3 hours later finally figured out how to place in in windows media player and sync it onto my mp3. modern technology can be so profound and difficult, yet make life easier as well. now i feel like i can go the gym and properly rock out to good new music.

oh and i get a 3 day weekend with nothing on my agenda at all.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

3 down...30 to go

As we are in the earliest stages of preparing for Haiti in May I have decided this is good motivation for me to get healthier. So last Monday, February 1st, I had my last soda and dropped most junk foods, and joined the gym, but sadly have only been able to go once due to the snow and classes. I re-weighed myself last night at work and lost 3 lbs. Not to shabby for one day of workout and dropping soda. Hopefully the roads get better so I can get out more. But it is a step in the right direction... Oh and the goal is 33 by Haiti.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010


So a funny conversation took place at work last night that I just had to share. An inmate was just told that his brother was killed and they are ruling it a homicide. A fellow nurse told me "did you hear about the humicide?" Me "a humicide? what's that?" She is like "you know when someone is killed by another human, like murder". I am like "i thought you said humicide, like death by a hummus". She's like "isn't hummus a spread you put on bread...can you imagine being killed by hummus. man i can never eat that stuff ever again, welll i never have eaten it but still!"...i guess working in prison's you can just have wrong conversations! but it keeps our nights eventful.

Monday, February 1, 2010


at church yesterday the man giving an offering message said something very simple yet profound in a way i have never heard it. he said that 10 years ago someone gave their 10% so that the church was opened when he came through the doors the first as a teenager where he ended up giving his life over to the Lord. he said in the past he has a problem giving a percentage of his income so that a man (pastor and church staff) would get an income. but he realized that he gives his 10% to make sure that the doors are open, for the staff to be paid, so that the doors are always opened when seekers come searching. he wants to make sure that the doors are always opened and someone is always there so when the lost comes, they will find what God has in-store for them. just a little food for thought...

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Vinegarized floor

This past week has been a little tense in the house due to pee. Yes pee. And let me tell you it wasn't mine or Caitlin's (or at least I don't think so...) From Friday to Wednesday Cady peed on the floor 4 times! We got smart and wouldn't leave her alone in the living room. But then Wednesday came, and she peed right in front of us! So anyways I was stumbling one day and I saw that if you clean the area with vinegar that it gets ride of the smell to make the dog not want to go there again, so I did and she it seemed like it worked. Well so Thursday she was outside most of the day, and Friday she was inside and just not allowed in the living room. Saturday I decided to expirement since it was my day off, so I let her in the living room and she seemed ok until she went and looked like she was about to squat. I yelled so loud that it scared Caitlin and the dog went running into my room where she hid for an hour. Finally came out and I am happy to say that yesterday or today she hasn't even attempted to walk in the area of the living room where she was going earlier this week. So hopefully we have this problem stopped...we shall see with precautions!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Backpacks for Haiti Relief

My Haiti parents, George and Carol Ann Truelove, took me into their house summer after summer as I grew up to let me live and serve with them in their medical clinic, schools, and church. It is because of them that I have a heart for Haiti. They have an idea for helping the Haitians and I wanted to pass it along...

Dear Family, Friends, Churches and Fellow Americans;

The eyes of the Americas are centered on the plight of the small country of Haiti the poorest country in the western hemisphere. Our hearts are bonded together in prayer for the multitude of people who were near the epicenter of the catastrophic earthquake and numerous after shocks.

Many countries, most especially our USA, have responded heroically to the unbelievable disaster of lost lives, incredible physical pain and damage to the living and even worse, the emotional suffering caused by seeing family members broken to pieces, killed or buried before their eyes with little or no hope of rescue before they die.

To all this horrific suffering and grief, add days of being hungry, thirsty, hot, dirty, homeless-with no water to drink much less bathe a little baby, wash clothes or even care for scrapes, burns, bruises, etc.

Even if we choose to go 24 to 48 hours without a drink of water or anything else, go without eating or baths we should be able to tolerate it better because we are safe in our homes with our family about us!

Anyone of these poor suffering Haitians who know Jesus as Saviour, have hope of eternal life if they die! They have the Holy Spirit to comfort them. What about the others that are dying daily because the food and medical care are not there soon enough.

After 32 years in Haiti (Carol Ann) and 24 years (George) we thank the Lord for the stories of miraculous rescues – the 2 children buried 7 days – brought out alive, the 70 year old woman whose God given courage sang her way to freedom, 2 young ladies, from the Northwest where we live were believed to be dead since day one, found under the rubble of a 4 story building and so many others! We are in the states because our son, Austin, got married. We had 6 children living in Port-au-Prince at the time of the quake. After 24 hours we got the message that “two guys were ok” no names or anything. 48 hours later we heard that all the kids were safe. The house they were living in was still standing but inhabitable. They made their way out to the province as many thousands have. Thank you Jesus!

While we are still in the states we want to do something now!

How can you help?

1) Donate backpacks! They do not need to be new but must be in good condition and hold 25 to 50 lbs. of family rescue items. Thousands walk the streets without shoes or sandals. They have no food, (some places get MRE’s) no water, no extra clothing just what is on their backs. Remember, many have lost everything but their lives, which of course, is the most important. Churches can pack them together and UPS them directly to :
100 Airport Ave. PaP 2272
Venice, FL 34285-3901
Mark boxes : “Backpacks for Relief”

2) If you live far from Venice, FL. Where AGAPE Flights is located, monetary gifts can be sent to AGAPE Flights at the same address above or to:
George and Carol Ann Truelove
c/o Mrs. Edith Crain
P.O. box 204
Hollister, FL. 32147
You may specify how you want your financial gift to be spent to fill these backpacks or as needed
or used to buy meds and supplies.
a) Food ready to eat: tuna fish, chicken, fish, beef in pouches, spam, ham, and Vienna sausages in pull top cans, peanut butter in plastic jars, granola bars, raisins and other dried fruits (we will buy cases and divide them among the backpacks).

Hygiene articles

disposable gloves 50 pair per box, blue underpads, bottles of hand sanitizers, safety pins, sewing kits, colored towels, bars of soap, shampoo medium size, tooth paste with brushes, deodorant, baby powder, feminine hygiene pads, underwear (masculine and feminine), zip lock bags, wet ones or diaper wipes.

linens – colored if possible – DO NOT need to be new but in good condition, pillow cases (these can be used as well for food storage or other belongings and then as a pillow) must be clean and durable, fleece blankets (darker colors) – to put on ground to sleep on over cement, dirt, etc.

Clothes – wash and wear as much as possible, cotton is cooler.
babies – baby wipes, baby formula for orphans, cloth diapers, baby clothes, plastic
pants, diaper pins
Children clothing – shorts, T shirts small boys and girls, dresses etc. for older girls
Men’s clothing – 3 button shirts sm-med-lg some x lg, T shirts, knee length shorts or pants
of any kind.
Women’s clothing – T-shirts, blouses, skirts, practical dresses – cotton (remember no
restrooms – women are adept at being modest with skirts and dresses).
Meds and medical supplies – send donations to George Truelove – specifically as they have
access to prepared cases, some are needed for Faith Medical Clinic also.
Shipping – gifts to AGAPE Flights for buying supplies etc. or helping pay the cost of a flight
can receive a receipt from AGAPE FLIGHTS INC.
Specify gifts to AGAPE given for supplies for the “Backpack Relief” project so it will be used
for that.
Gifts for helping pay for a flight to Haiti should also be specified for a receipt.
Gifts to George and Carol Ann specify accordingly.
We can be reached in the states at 386-336-6636 or 386-328-0724 for any questions or clarification.

Thank you for caring and sharing, George and Carol Ann Truelove – Missionaries to Haiti

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

EmOtIoNaL RoLlAr CoAsTeR

I hate when people use caps and type funky letters, but this week I think I can definitely write: EmOtIoNaL RoLlAr CoAsTeR, because that is what they last past 8 days of my life has been. With all going on right now, my mind is racing with different thoughts and emotions, stuff that I know I need to decipher, but where to start. And then I remember this blog. I am sure no one (except my ever faithful "stalker" of a housemate Caitlin {haha jk}) reads the blog, so why not try and decipher the things racing in my mind here on paper...well a computer screen.

8 days ago Haiti was his by the earthquake. News slowly came in that some friends are okay and some friends had died, missionaries are ok, etc. People in the States kept asking me about the missionaries, but never about the Haitians. It really bugged me because I have lived there for months on end, I have friendships with many people (alot of whom are now in the university in Port), and then there was the one I was engaged to (we will just call him Terry for now). I am usually a very private person and don't get into details on our past because frankly it is none of anyone business. Plain and simple I loved a guy and he loved me, our problem was that there is an ocean separating up. Plain and simple. Anyways when I heard about this earthquake my heart broke for all those who died. Every single person I saw on tv burried, I thought "that could be him" or "I might have kissed that lady's cheek" (especially if you know Haitians, you kiss alot of cheeks as greetings!).

Slowly news came in on some, but I never heard about Terry. Then on Monday I got a voice mail from a Haitian saying something about Terry, a machine, a house and dead. But they were speaking way to fast for me to understand. And let me tell you that messed with my head. I had one friend translate the voice mail basically saying "something about a truck crushing him and he died". I told my sister and parents, and left it at that. I didn't want to admit he was dead, but it was already taking toll on me. So later that night I got some text from his brother and he said "that he was going to go to port to get terry and the other twin". I was just like "why there bodies are probably buried under rubble or used as a road block." He had to tell me several times that he was their brother and he just knew they were alive. OK whatever say what you want but I wont believe you till I hear from him myself. Sunday comes around and late afternoon I get a call from Terry, my jaw fell open and I managed to say something like "you are suppose to be dead" he just laughed at me and said he was alive and wanted me to call him. Anyways after many busy signals and trying every 10 minutes while awake fastfoward 2 days to yesterday and I was finally able to get through to him due to the phone lines being down. My heart just leaps with joy the 3 times I have been able to have like 20 minute conversations with him. We talk, I do alot of encouraging, it is difficult to hear the pain and hear the screaming and mourning in the background, but I am the strong one that is suppose to encourage him to keep going. Yesterday he said to me "I survived the wrath of God, there is a reason, a second chance, now I need to serve Him, I have a purpose." He told me today that he has spent nearly everyday translating for relief teams. Reflecting on our phone and text convos my heart is mixed with joy and what now. Joy that he is alive and serving God despite loosing everything on his back. I want to jump the gun and say "just come here". I can't do that either. It is so frustrating cuz I want him hear safe and sound. But he keeps telling me on the phone "i need you to encourage me and keep me going". Okay I will do that, i cant do much except pray but I will be the encourager.

Onto other things life at work has been very busy with patients. People at work say to me that I haven't been the same the past week. They want to know why. But I don't want to say Haiti, because people are already becoming annoyed with it, I can tell just by the body language. But I am sorry this is personal to me. This is affecting me. I may not be crying and all emotional, I cant because I am a professional at work, but I find it hard to be all happy and smiling when my brothers and sisters are suffering so. It weighs heavily on my mind.

Oh and I took the ACT today. I need at least a score of 20 for my RN school application. Stuff that I haven't seen or heard of since high school. It was definitely a headache of a thing. And it will take 4 weeks before I get the results from the thing to see if I qualify to apply for the program.

And Cady got into the leaf pile, she had thorns and sticky stuff all over her beautiful coat. Maybe if I dont pass the ACT I will just do grooming on the side....haha

Can you see the emotional rollar coaster I have been on? Oh well it will stop soon and I can get off of it and place my feet on steady ground. Until then all I will say is "mezanmi and se la vie!"

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


If you know me, then you know my heart is in Haiti. Last night I was at work and talking to one of the prisoners when I saw the flashing news on FOX that there was a 7.0 earthquake that hit Port-au-Prince, the capital, the biggest and most populated city in Haiti. The President's house ("white house"), many government buildings, and thousands of houses and stores crumbled in due to the poorly built concrete buildings. PAP is known as the concrete city after all!

Anyways news is flying in from many friends that are in other parts of the country, and they all felt the shake, but no damage except in the capital. Salonique and Living Water is safe in Gonaives. He drove into PAP today to look for his sister Beau, who is in medical school in Haiti. Lucma is suppose to return to the States on Friday, but we shall see since the airport is shut down right now. George and Carol Ann Truelove was not affected all the way up in Nan Santrain, just some shaking. Carolyn and Terry's girls and church in Mare Rouge are ok. Steve and Faith Leach are in PAP buying monthly supplies and were unharmed. Chuck Martindale was state-side at the time and scheduled to return on the 20th, but is now trying to get back into Haiti sooner as soon as the airport opens. The Baptist Mission is set on the mountain overlooking PAP is ok, but is the only running hospital in the area and is overflooded due to the national hospital in PAP having collapsed. CSI missionary house is ruined, as well as CSI's hospital. A school collapsed while in session. The beloved Caribbean grocery store is gone.

I have yet to hear from many of my friends that are in the capital. Please keep praying for the country of Haiti. They covet your prayers upon this difficult time as people are buried under ruble, cell phone and electricity towers are down, lack of clean water, people missing, etc. If you feel led to give and don't know where to start I know several organizations that are collecting money for the relief.

here are a few pictures i have found from a friend.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Well since I am on this thing of continuing 2010 in a right way I decided to go to a new church on Sunday. Well more my coworker forced me to, but it's been something have been wanting to try. So I went, it was freezing in the sanctuary, but nonetheless it was a good service.

Today I started a new semester of school. Part of me didn't want to go back, I have spent 4 years of school have 2 degrees, then why do I need to go back and dedicate another 2 years of school?!? I might as well be a doctor! But anyways after kicking my butt out of bed, I went. I know this is something I need to do. I only has 3 pre-reqs after all before I am eligable to apply for the program. But come on, I am already starting my career and part of me feels like I am going backwords now that I have started classes with people just out of high school, and let me tell you there was alot of immaturity that I saw today.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


You know it is funny when people tell me that I am a nurse so I should have money. I make so much a month, but so much comes out for bills. People ask why I have debt. And it all seems to revolve around school. I have 2 separate student loan companies. 2 credit cards and 1 gas card that I took out when in school to get through school. A car loan. And then household bills. Part of me wants to scream because it seems like I never have enough money. It doesn't help that a lot of my check from yesterday is going to school for books and tuition. It's all so stressful. But no matter how I look at it, there is no way to fix it except keep doing what I do, work and pay the know the things that grown ups do!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010


Tonight just as we were getting ready to eat dinner we had a code. A dialysis inmate literally fell over dead as a nurse was talking to him. Us 4 nurses initiated CPR and did so for about 25 min before the ambulance came, who them attempted for 30 min before calling it. This wasn't my first death as a nurse, my first was a man who was declared medically futile, so tonight goes down in the books...

Monday, January 4, 2010


Well with Geanya's pushing I went over to MACC to see if I could get into micro-biology. Supposedly it's very difficult to do so since the ADN students has the top priority, and scarcely there is no room for others. I really wanted to take micro now and get it out of the way so I don't have to do it with RN classes. The good news: I got in, and am able to use Geanya's book for it. The bad news: it's at 8am in the morning 3 days a week. 8 am wouldn't be so bad if I didn't get home till 11:45 at night. But whatever. I also got my math book ($174) and am waiting to see if Julia has the human lifespan book. I am crossing my fingers on the human lifespan book since its like another $100 for a used book...let alone its $700 for these classes. CMS will reimburse me for 2 classes a semester, so that will help, but it doesn't give me the cash now. Oh least I am on track for finishing the last few classes that are pre-reqs. In all honesty all I need as pre-reqs are the 3 math classes, but I am taking the human lifespan and micro just so I don't need to with the RN classes. Anyways I guess I now need to purchase a least I now have a new student id and parking permit.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

First Sunday

Today's the first Sunday of 2010. What better way to celebrate then with the fellowship of believers. Well that's the thought that woke me up this morning. I was going to go to a new church today, but didn't know the time so instead went back to North was sad. Today was the first Sunday without a pastor. Pastor Howard and Sharon are officially done with the church, and you can tell. There is a gloomyness upon the church body. You could tell the joyous leader of the church for 10 years is gone. Now there is a intermediate pastor (who preached a good sermon) is here until a permanent pastor is found. May God bless North Park with a good man of God to lead the church in this new decade.

Friday, January 1, 2010


Well as tradition goes, today is a new year, and that means time to reflect on how 2009 turned out and the hope of what 2010 will bring. Looking back into 2009 it was a year of difficult financial times yet of conquering goals, mainly graduating from Bible college! Around graduation time I found myself itching for something new, so I moved to St Louis, only to get into financial troubles and be extremely unhappy, so after being slapped in the face with a sign by God that came in an email and a MACC parking sticker I moved back to Moberly with a look of much promise. The past 5 months of being back in Moberly I have climbed out of a financial crunch, got Cady, furthered my nursing career at MCC and reformed both old and new friendships. With this I am happily marching into 2010 with much hope...

A year from today I hope to say that I have grown much deeper in my relationship with Christ, that I have gotten involved in church more, tithing more, become a healthier person and have lost at least 33 lbs (more is better!), finished my last 4 pre-reqs for the RN program, payoff the credit card and decrease the student loan bills, increase my savings account, and to conquer whatever is placed before me. If I can meet these goals, then hopefully I can that 2010 was a far better year then 2009!

Happy New Year, may it be the best year of my life!