Sunday, September 25, 2011
Yesterday we took time out of doing our wedding planning and working, and ended up having professional engagement pictures taken. From the sneak peak we had, I have a feeling they are going to turn out fabulously. And the same person is taking our wedding pictures and I have all the confidence in the world that she will be able to capture the love between us.
We are getting married in 27 days. I don't know why, but it's stressful and not very enjoyable planning a wedding. It would help if I wasn't sick and feeling like crap though. Maybe it's because I am stubborn and a procrastinator at heart, or finances, or maybe because I don't like to be the center of attention. I am the logical and realist of the relationship, and so can't fathom spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on just a single event that will only last a few hours. A wedding to me, is a union between two people and God committing to merging two lives together. The marriage is more important then the ceremony. That is why I am perfectly happy with having a small and intimate ceremony surrounded by the people that loves us as they celebrate the union of us in honor to God. Anyways all I know is that I just want the wedding day to be here and to have the event over and to move on to our life as man and wife.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
8:46 am. A time that will forever be etched in American history. 10 years ago it seemed like the world was coming to an end, time seemed to stand still. Do you remember where you were a mere 10 years ago? I do. I remember I was sitting in science class, when the news came shattering down. But for me, it didn't stop there. For me, my family's life took a turn that day. For as soon as the Pentagon was hit, my dad received the called to head to D.C. to head up the repair of the communication lines... and thus started the weeks upon weeks upon months of him living in D.C. during the week and being home only for a short 48 hours on the weekend. We were living in Philly at this time, because of the city's location, alot of our fire fighters, police officers, and healthcare workers were called either to NYC. A lot of our church members were closely effected by this tragic event. I remember the special services the church held that week. I remember a song that was written and sung that said something along the line that after the darkness the sun will always rise in the morning. That there is hope.
I remember a few short months after 9-11 going to NYC and seeing the destruction up close, it was erie. Just this summer I got to have a personal tour of the Pentagon and the memorial there. It's hard to believe that 10 years has gone by. So much has happen since then, it seems like a lifetime ago; however, that Tuesday morning is as vivid as ever etched in the hearts and minds of many Americans. I am proud to be an American.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Well I officially finished my first week back at the popo. I loved seeing my old coworkers and getting reconnected. The good thing about the prison is most inmates are there for years, and a bazillion of them know me, not sure if that's good or.bad... So its kinda a very strange welcome back thing. I am getting the very basic orientation, basically a quick refresher. Tuesday I take over and become the full time segregation nurse. I love my prison job. Strange i know.
This week at home Steve and I got a washer and dryer, an antique gold stove that looks like it should be in Ricky Ricardo and Lucy or Julia Child's kitchen, a very comfy pillowtop serta queen size bed and a living room furniture set. We are having quite an issue trying to figure out how to arrange the couch, loveseat and chair set. Windows and doors make it quite challenging with two OCD people! Our house is definitely becoming homey. I love it.
I keep thinking that I should be doing some wedding planning, but I just have no clue where to start. We have some details done, but not much. It's quite overwhelming. Last weekend we got some engagement pics taken. I can't wait to see them.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Of all the people in the world, why do I want to marry Stephen Paul Jones? Dr. Stevens asked me this question during premarital counseling the other day and I found myself really pondering this profound question.
Out of all the men in the world, why do I want to spend the rest of my life with him? The first thing that comes to my mind is most importantly Steve is a man of God, who is actively seeking God’s Will in his life as well as in our life together. He is willing to confront his past square in the face just to be with me, even when it’s the most challenging thing in the world. It’s like he is saying “I Choose you, you are worth it all”. He is not ashamed of people knowing about his past, but more is willing to say “I screwed up but God changed me”, and now wants to use that as a testimony. I admire him for that. Steve has become the spiritual head of our relationship and I know that he continually strives to grow into that leadership role for our family.
Out of all the men in the world, Steve is the one guy that is willing to look me in the eyes and actually see past my “ticked off look” and actually get to know me. He takes time to find out what bothers me, and what makes me happy. He respects me by putting boundaries in our relationship to keep us out of trouble. He recognizes our weaknesses and knows how to not cross the line so that we please God. He is the only guy in this world that I trust 110%, and considering my past, that says a lot. He makes me want to be a better person. I want to make him proud to be his girl.
When I think of Steve and his personality, I see him being the perfect person to complete me. He can be quiet and reserved, but also be in charge when need be. He guides me in the ways of the Lord. He has stuck by my side through thick and thin times, the good and bad. Steve is my significant other; my second half; my strength and provider. I feel completely at home when I am with him, and homesick when I am away from him. I feel like I can conquer the world as long as he by my side. Quite simply I love him more than anything in this world, and I can’t imagine not spending the rest of my life with him. He is the man that I want to wake up to in the morning and say goodnight to at the end of the day. He is the man that I want to lean on and rely to guide me through life, to be my help mate, to have a family with, to grow old with. Profoundly put, he completes me and is my best friend.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
...sure we have lived together for the majority of the past year and a half, but this is the first time of us getting a house together. Making it our home. The last two days we have cleaned and oh clean some more. Last night was the first night Miss Cady Mae and I have slept in the house...
I had been anxious about last night for quite awhile now. Anxious of sleeping in a house by myself, across town from Steve. Anxious about us starting our jobs and living separate lifes. Anxious of us growing apart instead of us growing together as an engaged couple. Throw in the stress of finances, becoming caregivers to a dear friend for a few days and utter exhaustion...well let's just say its been a roller coaster of an emotional week.
I wish we could continue to live under the same roof, but I know that we are doing the right thing. I love Steve, and I trust him and our relationship. Sure I am anxious to live with him, but for now that's after marriage. Cady and I survived our first night, including the multiple walnuts hitting the roof from our walnut tree. But we survived, didn't sleep much, but we survived. For now I am going to learn to be content with all that God has blessed me with, rely on Him to get me through the day, and to enjoy this period of my life as an engaged couple.