technogym

well its been 2 weeks, and i only lost 0.2 lbs this past week. sure with my birthday and the business of people moving in, i should be happy that i kept off the 1.2 lbs from the week before. but in 2 weeks only 1.4 lbs, come on thats just disappointing to me. especially since it seems like i am the one pushing for Steve and Kaytee to go, and they of course loose a few pounds a week. all i want to say is FML! but i wont...because today i started the Technogym wellness program. today was day one of my personalized program that the personal trainer set up for me. and although i was only on the treadmill, let me tell you that the treadmill can kick your butt with that massive incline button. 636 calories on a treadmill is rediculous in 1 hour! so we shall see now if this 12 week program will help me or not.

ticked off

i am all sorts of ticked off. well i guess more frustrated...

frustrated that we started working out last week, that i spent a good 10 hours in the gym last week to only loose 1.2 lbs.

frustrated that i cant run more then a minute at a time without feeling like i am going to pass out.

frustrated that even though i have lost 10.2 lbs since February when i bought the bridesmaid dress that it wont zip all the way.

frustrated that the the bride wont follow through on her commitment to pay for the alterations, but that i have to, the day before the freaking appointment. when i am living on on like $60 till i get paid on Monday night.

frustrated that my microbiology grade isn't posted yet, to see if i passed the class, and hopefully i did so i can be reimbursed for all 3 classes through work.

frustrated that i have debt, even though 90% of my paycheck goes to paying it off, and i just wanna be overseas but can't.

frustrated that we can't talk like we use to.

frustrated that i just get told tonight that my mom is going on a trip tomorrow to MISSOURI where i have residency for 5 years, but didn't remember to tell me, cuz i guess since i ain't blood that i don't get invited to grandparents 50th wedding anniversary parties and that she is leaving to go back to virgina a day before my birthday and won't see me.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........

a year lookback

well my Roxie Renee done graduated from college. i am so proud of her. last night we went out to celebrate, and her car's sounds alarm went off making it go into high alert and locking the battery. then this morning she woke me up and came to say bye. it is a sad day...she got my tears a flowing which is quite remarkable considering i never cry.

last night i went to CCCB's graduation. i was sitting there thinking that wow it has been a year since i graduated. and to think that a year ago my dad and sister was here, that i moved to st louis, got myself into debt, went to washington on a fabulous family vacation, got my job back at the prison, moved in with Caitlin, got Cady, James and Briana got married, then in March got a house with Kaytee, Lilly was born. all in a years timing...that is sure exhausting!

working out

well this is the week that i got back on track. now that classes are over (well will be when i finish the 3 finals) i have started back at the gym. only this time it's different. now i have Steve, Julia and Kaytee as workout buddy's. we all go and force each other to keep going. i weighed myself at the beginning of the week and was pleasantly surprised to see that i keep off the 10 pounds since joining the y in February. i sure haven't worked out in March or April, really since we moved into the new place, but at least i kept off those 10 pounds. i have increased my calories burned every day 500, 800, and today 1450. yes 1450, that is certainly more then i ate today, which i believe is the purpose of burning calories. anyways needless to say we don't go just for a puny workout, but for 3 hours of hard ass-kicking exercise. i have been doing an hour of cardio, an hour of weights and stretching, and an hour of cardio. it's definitely a start. my first goal is 24 pounds.

mothers day

Mother's Day is awkward for me and my siblings. What do you say to a women who abandoned your family yet wants to have a relationship with you? Of course I can't just hop a plain and fly to Virgina to be with Darla, my stepmom whom was more of a mom then my biological mom. So instead for the first time in my life I drove to Illinois with my travel companion, Cady, to be with her for mother's day...it was awkward. How do you say "happy mother's day, thanks for leaving us" I don't have any hard feelings against her, I even love her in my own way, but awkward it still was. Oh well I did my deed, I got her a present, had lunch, and came home today.

My travel companion does great in the car, and behaved her self very well until last night when she decided she had to sleep with me on the couch. With me I mean, me laying on the couch with her jumping on top of me to lay on top me the ENTIRE night. It was a grand night, let me tell you. needless to say it is nice to be home.

tomorrow is my last day of class, strange i know for being a monday, then 3 finals. i am so ready to have my sleep in back!

yay it's friday! work has been crazy busy this week, mainly because of a liver failure guy who's ammonia level shot up, but him in a comatose state, and the stupid politics of working for a state penitentiary has caused him to be in our infirmary instead of an icu. but oh well, we dealt with him being restrained, and he is getting better to the point of talking and walking. not out of the woods yet, but completely different then monday where he was comatose with an ng tube.

anyhow finals are the end of next week. only one more day of class on monday - means we are very close to the 18 hour 3 times a week very soon! i value my sleep, but with these classes i never seemed to have got it.

i am debating about taking a trip with Cady to illinois this weekend for mother's day. kaytee and carigan are in warrensburg, so i doubt much will be going on, but just the thought of driving 3 1/2 hours one way doesnt appease me like it use to. i guess i will see what tonight at work and tomorrow morning brings before i commit to going.

the good news is that Cady is over her giardia and eye infection!

May

well tomorrow is May, with that said let me just say i hate the last day of the month and first day of a month. getting all of the MARs ready for 1800 men is stressful. with that said it's May, and i have 2 weeks left of classes. and then i get to sleep in and not have this stinking 18+ hour days 3 times a week. also Roxie graduates this month, and i am not ready to see her leave. but at the same time i am turning 23 this month.

Lala left this week, and it looks like she is gonna move up here and be our live in nanny. she is suppose to move in the weekend before my birthday. i think she will move, but at the same time i am not ready to rearrange the house until i know for 100% that she is coming.

tomorrow with being a new month, i am going to push the weight loss again. i have continually lost since moving, but i havent worked out as much as i should, mainly because of classes and what not. so tomorrow its back on it.

anyways i am off to bed...i think its funny that i even write on here, cuz i am sure no one reads it. oh well.