Motivation, where art thou?

I know, I know, I know. Please don't remind me. I am sure you are sitting there rolling your eyes saying "she has said it several times in the past 5 months, and will probably say it again"...but I hope to not say it again. I am frustrated that in February I was rocking the healthy lifestyle, to them move across country, and bam get hit with the real life of not living in my little comfy bubble that I had created, and fail so miserably at the healthy lifestyle. Sure it took time to go downhill, and at the beginning I honestly tried to behave myself by going to the clubhouse, running around the block, eating healthy. But that quickly went downhill when the depression of not being able to find a job, no friends, etc sat in. The past 5 months there has been little burst of motivation, but nothing real enough to last a day or two. I have no motivation what so ever to use the free clubhouse, it's a tiny room with just a few treadmills, ellipticals, and bikes intermixed with a few weight machines. It's small and gives me absoultely no motivation. It majorly sucks. I realized two things the past 5 months, and that is I have to have a regular routine, and a workout/accountability buddy helps me. The success that I had in Missouri was due to me having control of what food was brought into the house since I did the majority of the grocery shopping, I felt like I had support of MFP, I had Andrea as a workout buddy and we managed to push eachother, I found out I loved the elliptical and even more loved a water aerobics class, and I had a very strict routine. This is what worked for me, and fast foward 5 months and I feel like I have none of it. I don't know how to fix it. I am always tired, thanks to working overnights, so when I am not sleeping I just feel like doing nothing except the errands that I need to do. I don't know when to go exercise since I work 7pm to 5am. Before work, when I could be taking my afternoon nap? After work, when the exhaustion is starting to sink in so I don't give a workout my full effort? Ugh I just don't know. I am scared that I wont get the motivation back. That I will gain all of the hard work that I did from October to February. That I wont feel beautiful on my wedding day. That will effect my marriage in the future. That I wont be able to have kids. The list goes on and on and on...I need to stop, well really I need to start again. I started reading the book "Master Your Metabolism" today. I am hoping that I can gain some insight from it. I am going to start counting calories again, eating the right thing, cut out processed foods and the occasional soda, start exercising again (even when I feel like hibernating). I need to do this for me, I need to do this for my future. I need to stop making excuses, to make a routine, and just do it.